As usual, too much time has passed and I can't even begin to recount (for myself or posterity's sake) all of the things that have passed since I posted last. But here is a sad attempt to summarize: I went through the entire IVF process successfully. My hCG levels were off the charts, so we figured we'd be having twins. We were right. The week 8 ultrasound showed two sacks with two embryos, each with their own little fluttering hearts and swishing heartbeats. I got the official stamp to move out of specialist territory and into the world of "normal" pregnant women - my OBGYN's office. But when I went there for my week 10 check-up (on Tues Nov. 22), they found not two, but THREE embryos! The next day, I went to a radiologist to confirm and yes, now we are trying to prepare (in all definitions of the word) for THREE babies.
If you've been reading my blog, you know that I have been excited, but reluctant to become a parent. I have never felt that strong biological clock everyone loves to talk about, but we did have a draw towards parenthood. However, I never in my wildest dreams anticipated three babies - in my life, let alone all at once! This has been quite a shock and I'm not sure how successfully I've embraced it yet, but I'm working on it. My husband has been great - almost too great. He's been so optimistic that I almost wonder if he's had any doubts at all, which just seems unnatural to me. My sister was the only one who freaked out with me. That may seem like something a person who is panicking wouldn't want, but it was actually comforting to know that someone else saw the scariness in the situation. I'm sure it will all turn out to be great, but this is a strange, frightening and unknown road for us to travel. It seems only natural to feel some sort of trepidation. And feel it, I do. Luckily, we have some amazing friends and family around us, several of who are in the medical community and - go figure - in the same NICU at a local hospital. But we have others, too, who are familiar with facilities and doctors and are eager to help guide us towards the great places. That is comforting. (Not as comforting as getting some semblance of my body back after this ordeal, but it will have to do for now.)
For now, we're taking it one step at a time. I am grateful for the love and support around us and I'm sure I'll grow into this new role, but it may take me a little longer than I'd like. For now, I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that there are three wiggling, thumb-sucking little human beings in my body and that someday (soon), they are going to push out my belly, give me strange cravings and, God forbid, come out of my body to meet us and the rest of the world.
