Them Young Folk

"Good habits formed at youth make
 all the difference."
- Aristotle

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."
- Friedrich Nietzsche


I began teaching at twenty-five. I hadn't developed my teacherly persona and didn't know much about dressing the part, so I was often mistaken for a student. And, in fact, I was pretty close in age to many of my students. Sometimes, even younger than they were. But now I've been teaching for eight years and my students and I are growing apart in age. (That's not to say there aren't still some older students, but on average, I'm becoming the twentysomething's version of old.) It's inevitable, but disheartening to learn your students were born around the same time you graduated from high school.

There are many stereotypes about this generation that is entering adulthood. Every generation gets their label and their matching characteristics, and these guys are the Millennials. Experts describe them as narcissistic, entitled kids with short attention spans. And some are, but nothing is ever that simple or easy to define, and I'm glad for that.

Today I got to sit down with a few of my female students after class. It started with a conversation about calorie counting (I know, so stereotypical, right?) but slowly moved into a conversation about their failed relationships and my failed pregnancy. Everyone was curious, respectful, and eager to share, and our conversation quickly moved from the light topic of dieting (no pun intended) to stories of pain, loss, struggle, and striving to overcome. I learned I was not the only one of us who had experienced the loss of a baby and my own thoughts were reflected in her self doubts. I heard of infertility in friends and family; how pregnancy can be both a curse and a blessing, but how parenting equals love no matter how difficult it may be. It was amazing and simple and honest and... beautiful.

As often as I see entitlement and narcissism, I more often see transparency and curiosity. I think those are the important qualities in our Millennials. My generation was one of big changes. Like our grandparents who experienced the invention of the automobile, the factory, several wars, the cell phone, and computer, we have seen significant advancements. We have seen the development of the Internet, growing awareness for causes that were taboo and "dirty" (like AIDS, breast and testicular cancer), the growth of women's rights, and the explosion of text and dimishing of the printed word. But the Millenials have grown up in a world that is more equal than it has ever been, with ease of communication and fewer taboos than any of us have known. I believe that is what makes it easier for them to be curious and feel okay sharing about difficult things. It's not that women are going around telling everyone about how they were raped or that they had to get an abortion or that they lost a baby; but in a safe environment, I think they are more willing to share this information that older women, even women of my generation. For this, I am thankful. This gives me hope that infertility, miscarriage, and pre-term labor loss can lose their shades of guilt and shame. That we can speak of these things with wisdom, medical knowledge, and empathy in order to help those who have experienced them and bring awareness to those who have been and will be lucky enough to never experience them.

So, to those students (you know who you are) and to other Millennials like them, I thank you and encourage you to break more barriers and bring more of these hushed subjects into the light. As Mahatma Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." My hope is that we will all embody that and change the world.