If at First you Don't Succeed...

You know the old axiom, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Well, we certainly didn't succeed at this whole I'm-gonna-be-a-what thing, so I guess we need to try, try again. And try we will!

In the spirit of openness (despite recommendations from friends) I am letting you know that we will begin the IVF process again this November. We were planning on December, but there isn't a cycle then and we decided not to put it off until January. So there it is!

As you have read, it has been difficult getting to the place where we can really consider trying this again; but even as we were losing our children, we were inquiring when we could repeat the attempt. It's weird. We never really felt a strong pull towards parenthood, but in losing our children, we realized how much being parents means to us. So we knew that we would do this again.

I don't know what it will feel like to go back to the fertility clinic and revisit the dietary restrictions, daily hormone injections, and vaginal goos and pills, but I think we're ready for it. We will never be over losing Ewan, Amelia and Sebastian, but I believe that moving forward with another pregnancy will help the healing process. And, all things considered, we are in a good place. My physical therapist says I'm progressing nicely, so if I keep up with my exercises I should be strong enough to carry a child. My reproductive side seems to be okay, so says my fabulous OBGYN, and the specialist seems to think it's okay to move forward. So here we go!

This next round will be easier. I won't have to undergo as many hormone injections because we have five frozen blastocysts (fertilized five day old eggs) that are available to transfer. We transfered two last time and ended up with three babies, so this time we are going for one. All they need to do is get my body to think it's two weeks pregnant by the time of the transfer, follow the directions, and hope for the best.

My protocol appointment is October 10, so I'll know a lot more then. I promise I will keep you updated. Although there is always a chance we will lose this pregnancy, too, I am committed to being open and honest about the process, my emotions during it, and the results. I hope that it helps people now and in the future. So stay tuned and please keep sharing my information. Thanks for all of your interest, love and support... we're going to need it!